


Of Socks and Spocks

by gentleau (iwanna_seeyou_undoit)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, insecure spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8543704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwanna_seeyou_undoit/pseuds/gentleau
Summary: The giving of gifts is a most illogical practice, Spock doesn’t know how to be in a human relationship, and no one ever talks to Jim about anything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first venture into the K/S world, so be gentle. I'd like to extend and huge thank you to [plaidshirtjimkirk](http://plaidshirtjimkirk.tumblr.com/) who was a wonderful beta and, honestly, a bit of an inspiration. Without you, I would not have made the leap from writing this to posting it. So thank you <3

Spock doesn’t know how to do this, how to be in a human relationship. 

It is completely and utterly foreign to him, and as much as he wants it - as much as yearns to know Jim’s touch in every possible way, he doesn't know how to have it. No matter what his home-world says, no matter how many times Jim assures him that he wants him however he comes, that he loves Spock precisely  _ because _ of his humanity, Spock is Vulcan.

The fact remains that he keeps his emotions beneath the surface and he cannot hope to give Kirk what he needs. His captain, for all his insistence that he will be happy with whatever Spock can give him, has needs. Human needs, emotional requirements that Spock is incapable of.

He has been trying -  _ gods _ how he has tried - to cater to Jim’s human needs, and yet… every time he thinks he’s figured it out, found some way of meeting the subconscious expectation he knows Jim must hold, he falls short.

When his subtle gestures received little to no recognition - the plumped pillows thrown off the bed with nothing more than a query about  _ where had they all come from _ , the carefully prepared coffee overlooked and left to grow cold next to the chess board when the captain preferred to retire straight to bed - Spock had decided that it was prudent to seek help from his colleagues.

___

Sulu had suggested increased physical contact, something to get the adrenaline pumping. But Spock and the captain already sparred together regularly and besides, they had no problems with physical contact inside their own quarters. Nevertheless, Spock was aware that his tendency to keep his private life well,  _ private _ , contradicted many human social conventions surrounding romantic relationships. He therefore endeavoured to provide Jim with more physical contact in the presence of others.

Spock observed human couples aboard the  _ Enterprise _ engaged in public displays of affection - holding hands in the mess room, sharing an embrace in the hallway, kissing one another goodbye outside their private quarters before shift. He could not imagine either himself or Jim doing something as blatant as partaking in a kiss before Alpha shift, but he saw no reason he should not attempt to indulge in the other traditions he had observed.

Except, Jim did not respond to his actions as Spock had anticipated. When Spock had allowed their hands to brush against each other when Kirk bent over his station on the bridge, Kirk had not reacted in anyway that the rest of the crew could have observed, merely moved his hand a few centimetres to the right - away from Spock’s. Spock had dismissed this as a one off; after all, Jim had not appeared to shun his touch on prior occasions - going so far as to actively seek it out, even before they became more… intimately involved.

In the interest of following Sulu’s advice to its most reasonable extent, Spock attempted to initiate contact between his hand and Jim’s on several other occasions. When any contact on the bridge failed to produce the result Spock hoped for, he concluded that perhaps Jim was uncomfortable expressing their relationship in such a way while on duty; a reasonable preference.

He shifted his attentions to the mess room - carrying Jim’s chosen nourishment from the replicator to the table, and allowing their fingers to brush against one another upon trade off; nudging their feet together in imitation of the somewhat juvenile practice he had witnessed among several Ensigns; allowing their elbows to knock together whenever they chose adjacent seats.

All of these attempts failed.

Spock realised that he was rather clumsy at such actions, but was sure that with time he could improve. Jim, however, did not seem to share that opinion. Instead, every time Spock attempted to include one of these human expressions of affection, his lips compressed in ever increasing disapproval.

Spock decided to skip attempting to embrace Jim in public - logically, if even hand to hand contact inspired such disdain from Kirk, a full on embrace would not have favourable results - and change tactic entirely.

___

Uhura assured Spock that most humans appreciated, and even  _ expected _ , unprompted gifts to show the strength of their partner’s regard.

The giving of unnecessary gifts was seen as highly illogical in Vulcan society - if one desired something they would either attain it through their own means, or ask their bondmate to acquire it for them. However, Spock was doing this in order to prove to Jim that he  _ was _ capable of distancing himself from his Vulcan roots, and if humans required gifts, then Spock would endeavour to fulfill this expectation.

He thought about the appropriate gift to present to Jim for three days, and came up absolutely blank. He concluded, then, that whatever he produced for Jim needed to have  _ some _ grounding in logic (at least to begin with). Spock could give Jim something purely emotional at a later date; he merely needed to ease himself into the foreign practice.

At least that had been the plan, until Spock’s carefully thought out presentation of a pair of thick, thermal socks in the privacy of his own quarters had been met with a careful smile that had not reached Jim’s eyes, and resulted in Jim departing earlier than he was accustomed to.

“Goodnight, Captain. I trust you will sleep well?” Spock clasped his hands tightly behind his back as he watched Kirk approach the door which led to their shared bathroom, and then the captain’s own quarters. It was illogical to wish that Jim would remain to finish their game of chess. It was late, and Spock knew humans deeply valued autonomy in romantic relationships.

“Yes, Spock.” Jim chuckled under his breath. “I shall…” he shook his head, as if hoping to erase the events of the past few minutes, “enjoy not having to ask laundry to mend my old socks.”

Spock inclined his head - that was, after all, the stated intent behind the gift now in Jim’s hand. He had not voiced his desire to see Kirk’s slender feet clad in a garment he had chosen. It was illogical and overly possessive. It was not his right to dictate what Jim wore. Jim had given a final glance around the sparse decor of Spock's quarters, and then left to his own rooms.

Spock was left with an unsettling sensation that he had been assessed and found lacking. He did not have to guess about what exactly Jim had failed to find.

His first gift having been met with such an indifferent response, Spock did not attempt to provide Jim with other tokens of his affection. It was clear he would have to try yet another approach.

___

Chief Medical Officer Leonard McCoy was typically exasperated by what he called Spock’s  _ ‘heartless and calculating logic’ _ , but allowed Spock to take a seat in his sickbay while he poured himself a drink. Spock found that he was uncharacteristically nervous to be placed under the scrutiny of McCoy, though he could hardly call such a reaction illogical.

Dr. McCoy was Captain Kirk’s best friend, and following human tradition, he was qualified to pass judgement against any associate his friend chose to surround himself with. He was well within his rights to tell Spock to give up and leave Jim alone, to tell Spock that a Vulcan could never hope to hold the love of such an extraordinary human as Captain James T. Kirk.

When McCoy sat down across from Spock and threatened to stick him with a hypo if he didn’t start talking, Spock judged it prudent not to point out that he would not have sought McCoy out if he did not wish to have a discussion with him.

“For the past 28.4 ship days, I have endeavoured to find a manner of expressing my regard of Captain Kirk. Neither Lieutenant Sulu nor Lieutenant Uhura were able to provide me with advice that produced satisfactory results. If you would not mind providing me with your own recommendation as Captain Kirk’s closest companion, I would be grateful, Doctor.”

Despite finding it deeply uncomfortable to discuss such matters with anyone, let alone a man who had made little secret of the fact that he disapproved of Spock’s Vulcan predilections, he considered it a reasonable concession to make to ensure his captain’s contentment.

Dr. McCoy had raised one surly eyebrow at Spock’s speech, and examined him through the distorted lens of his drinking glass. “What exactly did Sulu and Uhura recommend?”

“Lieutenant Sulu suggested that I account for the human need for physical contact in the public sphere. From my own observations of human couples aboard, I have concluded that his advice was indeed reasonable. However, any attempt I made to include basic physical contact with Captain Kirk did not lead to a favourable response, and I believe the reasonable conclusion to draw would be that I am simply not adept at demonstrating my regard in such ways.” Spock felt his throat constrict momentarily at making such an admission aloud, and tightened his shields to combat it.

Such a response was irrational, as his own deficiencies were simply a fact of life. He should not feel sadness for that which he could not control. McCoy’s face remained impassive, so Spock continued.

“Approximately 9.56 hours ago, I determined that Lieutenant Uhura’s advice was also inapplicable to the situation between myself and the Captain. My Vulcan upbringing,” here he observed Dr. McCoy’s barely concealed sigh, “leaves me incapable of certain… gestures that I am told humans expect. While I made my best attempt to provide Captain Kirk with what he requires, I do not believe I am yet proficient in doing so. Given a sufficient length of time to build my skill set, I believe I could satisfy the captain, but--”

Here McCoy cut him off.

“ _ What _ exactly did Uhura tell you to do, Spock!?”

There was no reason for Spock to delay answering, but he found that he was somewhat reluctant to admit his inadequacy outright. Nevertheless, he had sought the doctor out for his advice. It would be counterproductive to refuse to give all relevant information.

“The Lieutenant advised me to provide Captain Kirk with a gift in order to display my regard. However, as I am Vulcan, I was unable to provide Kirk with a purely… emotional gift, as you humans expect. The captain’s reaction therefore was somewhat… less than ideal.” Spock wished he had thought his response out with more care - he did not wish for it to appear that he thought Jim in the wrong when the problem lay with himself.

“And you got him...what, exactly?”

“The Captain often complains of cold feet and must frequently request that his standard issue socks are mended. I deemed it both a logical and adequately compassionate gesture--”

“‘Adequately compassi-’” Dr. McCoy cut himself off. “You gave Jim  _ socks _ ?!”

Spock did not see why McCoy felt it necessary to react in such an affronted manner. He already knew his gift was less that adequate, but he did not understand how it could be offensive. He was about to voice his concerns when McCoy set his glass on the desk a fraction too hard.

“Talk to Jim.”

___

Which is how Spock ended up here, standing outside Kirk’s quarters, hands folded tightly against his back and pondering just  _ what _ exactly Dr. McCoy expected him to say. A passing ensign gives him a curious once over when his pacing leads him directly into her path, and he decides that enough is enough. There was no point in standing outside the captain’s quarters, waiting for another commitment to make itself known, or for Captain Kirk to find him loitering outside his door.

No. Best to get it over with.

He raises a hand to request permission to enter, but before he can depress the button, the automatic doors slide open.

“See, I thought I heard someone pacing.” Jim sounds amused, but there is an undercurrent of something else in his tone that turns Spock’s stomach.

"Captain, pacing is an illogical expenditure of energy reserves.”

Kirk gives a wry smile in response. “So you deny that you were pacing, Commander?” Vulcans cannot tell an outright lie, so Spock merely inclines his head towards the inner sanctum of Jim’s rooms.

“May I come in, Captain?”

Kirk steps aside. Spock is careful to avoid brushing against him. The door is still open and the captain has made it quite clear where he stands on displaying their relationship in public.

“So,” Jim takes his usual seat at the small table they play chess around. “You gonna tell me what it is that's got you all worked up?”

Spock doesn’t bother pretending that the meaning of the idiom is lost on him. “I have been advised by Dr. McCoy that I should speak with you.” Jim spreads his hands in a gesture that Spock takes to mean he should start explaining himself as soon as possible. “When you kissed me approximately 9.14 weeks ago, I was unsure what you expected of me. I admit, I also did not realise the nature of which you wished our relationship to be.”

Spock pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts, and notices the wary expression on Jim’s face. He folds his hands neatly in his lap to distract himself from the very Vulcan part of himself which is telling him to reach out to Jim’s own mind. He continues.

“I cannot be certain of when I first realised, but I estimate the thought first occurred to me when Lieutenant Stevens requested shore leave so she could spend her anniversary with her wife. That would make it…”

“37 days ago. Yes, Spock. I know - I signed the release forms myself.” James Kirk is sitting with excellent posture in his seat. The sight of a man who usually relishes stretching out and slouching in the privacy of his own quarters sitting so stiffly acts as a warning beacon to Spock. He takes a deep, steadying breath. This conversation is progressing exactly as he had predicted. He has never wished for an hypothesis to be wrong more in his life.

“Stevens’ request prompted me to think about our own…” Here, he stops. He does not know what Jim wishes to call them. They are certainly not bondmates, yet nor are they merely colleagues. Spock knows enough about Terran culture to suppose the correct term would be ‘boyfriends’ but that does not seem correct either. Eventually he settles for, “acquaintance.” From the expression on Jim’s face, he knows immediately that it was the wrong choice, but carries on regardless.

“I have sought the advice of Lieutenants Sulu and Uhura over the past 35.6 days in regards to our relationship, yet their advice - while undoubtedly pertinent - did not apply itself well to our situation. I believe that this is my fault.” He meets Jim’s eyes for the first time since they sat down, and the depth of regret he sees there turns his stomach. Despite the events of the past month, he had hoped that there was someway he could have been mistaken; had hoped that his captain could look past his failings and honour his own misguided promise that he accepted Spock exactly as he was.

It was plain that this would not be the case, however. No longer able to look into the soft hazel eyes that had once studied Spock’s face with such care and affection - emotions which no Vulcan would ever allow themselves to express so openly - Spock turned his attention to the chest of drawers next to the bed.

The pair of socks Spock had given Jim - the socks that McCoy had scorned and that had prompted Jim to walk from Spock’s quarters for what he was now realising was most likely the last time in a non-professional context - are lying, unpackaged on top of the dresser.

_ At least Jim was able to find some use for them _ , Spock thinks.  _ At least he did not find the gesture of my regard so unstomachable that he could not bear to use them. _

“Jim,” Captain Kirk’s head snapped towards Spock at the sudden use of his first name. “I apologise that I have turned out to be an unsatisfactory partner. The responsibility for this failure is mine alone.” Spock dreads what his next words must be. As a Vulcan, he could control how the situation affected him, but for Jim, the termination of their relationship would undoubtedly be tense and, ultimately, make it impossible to function as a command team. “I will request a transfer as soon as I return to my own quarters. Should you desire it, I would also submit a list of potential replacements for my positions as First Officer and Science Officer.”

One glance at the captain shows that Spock’s words have not gone over as smoothly as he had expected. He thinks over them, searching for any time he had misspoken, any transgression that could have caused anything but satisfaction from Jim. He cannot find anything. It was his belief that humans appreciated honesty, and preferred to have no blame placed upon them. Spock has upheld both of these expectations.

“Geez, Spock.” Jim sounds… angry. “Do I not get any say in this?”

Spock raises an eyebrow. “Of course, it is your prerogative to make the final decision regarding your command team. I merely thought my recommendation might make it ea--”

“You think  _ that’s  _ what I’m upset about, Spock?!” The anger is now underscored with hurt. Spock still does not understand. He can find no fault in his words, though perhaps…

“Am I expected to provide a parting gift?” He had thought that as the socks inspired such a poor response, any further gifts would not be appreciated.

“ _ Christ _ , Spock!” Jim runs his hands over his face. When he looks up at Spock again, his jaw is set in a hard line. “Two months,  _ two months! _ ” He gives a humourless chuckle. It sounds unbelievably wrong. Spock conceals his wince. “And this is what I get? You slept in my bed for  _ five _ weeks, Spock, do you understand that?”

Spock does not understand the reason for Jim’s questions. “Yes, Captain.”

“Then you understand that we are not merely ‘acquaintances’, as you put it?”

Another oversight on Spock’s part. “I did not know which term you wished to apply to our situation. Therefore I opted for the least offensive option.”

This did not seem to appease Jim. He had now stood up from the table and was approaching the chest of drawers where the socks lay. 

“Look, Spock. I told you I loved you. I don’t know how… No, in fact, I’m sure that that isn’t taken lightly by Vulcans because it sure as hell isn’t on Earth. I don’t know  _ what _ Sulu and Uhura have been telling you, but whoever put the idea into your head that it is acceptable to end a romantic relationship by announcing your intention to leave permanently is barking up completely the wrong tree!

“Humans expect a little bit of discussion when they’re contemplating ending a relationship. It is not something you… announce and move on from. It sure as  _ hell _ doesn’t require  _ parting gifts _ .” Jim frowns at the socks, now in his hands. “I… I just don’t understand what this is about.” He stands next to the bed, examining the socks in his hands. Spock is starting to feel he has done something very wrong. “You said… you said you’ve been an ‘unsatisfactory partner’. Is that Vulcan for ‘it’s not you, it’s me’? Because that is bullshit, Spock. No one really says that and  _ means _ it. I thought Vulcan’s didn’t beat around the bush.”

“I was not beating any bushes, Jim.” Even misplaced attempts at humour, in Spock’s opinion, tend to work with the captain. “I was merely stating the facts. I was unable to follow through on the advice I received from Lieutenants Sulu and Uhura to a degree that a human would find satisfactory, and am therefore attempting to follow Dr. McCoy’s advice of talking to you.”

Jim’s expression remains confused for a few moments and then he frowns. “You said--  _ What _ advice did they give you?”

Spock’s mouth is unnaturally dry and he finds he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I was advised that humans required physical contact and the presentation of tokens of affection. My attempts at increasing our physical contact failed, though as I did so without discussing it with you, I apologise for any discomfort my actions caused you. It is also clear that as the exchange of gifts is seen as illogical on Vulcan, my attempts were dissatisfactory to--”

“Spock.” Jim interrupts him, sounding disconcertingly frantic. “The socks…”

“Were my first attempt at giving a token of my regard for you. I attempted to provide you with a gift that was both logical and sentimental, though I now understand that I missed something of considerable cultural significance based on the reactions of yourself and Dr. McCoy.”

“I--” Jim sags onto the bed, and Spock hovers anxiously by his side. “Do you _ want _ to break up?”

Spock takes a moment to puzzle out both the idiom, and the tone of the Captain’s voice before answering. He does not wish to cause any more unnecessary strain on Jim’s emotional wellbeing. “I believe I would do almost anything if it would please you, Jim.”

The conversation has taken a toll on Spock’s shields - he shall have to meditate for an extra 15 minutes tonight - and he can feel some of Jim’s emotions leaking through. Despair overrun with confusion, and mellowed by something that feels oddly like hope. Spock allows himself a brief moment to join him.

“Socks are usually given because the giver couldn’t be bothered to get something nice.” Jim doesn’t  _ sound _ angry, but any hope Spock had drains away. He had made a rather large transgression. No wonder Jim had been displeased. “But… you wouldn’t have known that, would you?”

“If I had known--” They speak at the same time. Spock tells himself he should not derive pleasure from this small fact.

“You… Why did you get me socks?”

Spock has trained his whole life to keep his face blank of emotion, but he finds it extremely difficult to temper his surprise. He had not expected to be given the chance to explain himself. A Terran expression comes to his mind about gift horses, and he hastens to explain.

“I have heard you complain on innumerable occasions about the subpar quality of any repairs the laundry staff have made to your uniform. Although my own uniform does not require the frequent repairs yours does, I do understand your opinion on the matter - the feel of the stitches is rather irksome. After Lieutenant Uhura’s suggestion that I provide a token of my--” Jim is giving him a chance to explain himself, but Spock is still unsure of where their relationship stands, “--my regard for you.” He thinks it best to stay within the parameters of language which could be interpreted platonically.

“As I was raised on Vulcan, I have had very little experience with what is deemed an acceptable gift. My mother only participated in the human tradition in ways which accommodated my father’s culture. For us, it is the height of illogic to give a gift which is a surprise, and therefore, unprompted. Family members and--”

Best not to mention bondmates, Spock decides. It would not do to give Jim the impression that Spock was hinting.

“--associates will often provide each other with gifts. However,” he continues at Jim’s surprised expression. “These are always rooted in logic. If my father spoke of requiring additional furniture in his office, it would be acceptable for me to provide him with some credits to contribute to that. Mostly, it would be more efficient to gain whatever they needed themselves.”

Spock is satisfied with his explanation and allows himself a glance at the socks still resting in Jim’s lap. He allows himself to experience a flicker of hope that Jim might accept, or at least understand, his reason for yet another failure as an intimate partner.

“I wished to provide you with a gift to cater to your expectations, but found I could not fully divorce myself from my Vulcan upbringing. Hence the socks. They were sufficiently logical, as you frequently experience cold feet, and all of your current pairs have been mended at least once. These will not require the frequent repairs.”

Jim looks as though he wishes to say something, but Spock is experiencing the illogical urge to finish his explanation before Jim has a chance to dismiss him. He hurries on. “I will admit, I also had a more… emotional reason for choosing this particular gift. I--” Spock’s jaw clenches here, his body unconsciously holding back, retaining its Vulcan training.

“I realised that I enjoy the view of your feet when we are off duty.” He cringes at the way he had phrased it. “I merely mean that when you are off duty you are most relaxed. It pleases me to see you uninhibited. It is logical to take satisfaction from seeing one you care about free of stress.” Jim needn't know about the fact that Spock would never admit to such a thing in the presence of his father.

“I also find the thought of you wearing something I provided for you surprisingly gratifying, Captain.”

Spock fully expects Jim to ask him to leave. Perhaps he would suggest a game of chess, but he would invariably request the termination of their intimate relationship, and ask Spock to follow through on his offer of transfer. Spock finds the thought deeply unsettling.

“Spock,” Captain Kirk’s voice is soft. In any other situation, Spock would term it affectionate. It is the voice he used when climbing into Spock’s bed, sliding down so they lay hip to hip and pressing a gentle kiss to Spock’s cheek. This is clearly not the case; Spock does not deserve such a tone. His actions prove it.

Spock cringes. They have discussed this. He had assumed they had assessed his inadequacy, and moved on.

Jim is still talking. “You got me  _ socks _ so that I wasn’t uncomfortable?”

The question confuses Spock. He thought he had understood everything he has done wrong. Jim’s query about his intentions is puzzling. Spock is certain he had not misunderstood the human tradition of ensuring the comfort of those you care about. He feels Jim is missing his major transgression.

“And because--”

“Because you wanted to see me in something you’d given me.”

_ Yes _ , Spock’s mind sighs, _ that. _

“That is  _ unbelievably _ hot, Spock!”

It is fair to say that Spock had not been expecting that.

_ Fascinating _ .

“Captain?”

“I’m going to ask you this again, okay, Spock? And I want you to be one hundred and ten percent honest, alright?”

“That is a most inaccurate and excessively hyperbolic method of measuring my answer, Captain.” Spock can feel the situation spiralling out of the parameters he had predicted.

“It’s Jim, Spock, when we aren’t on duty. Now, my question. Do you want us to break up?” The look on Jim’s face encourages Spock to answer despite his misgivings.

“As I stated earlier, I believe I would do anything if it would please you. However, I find that the idea of terminating our personal relationship is… most unsatisfactory, Jim.” Spock’s brain is screaming at him to leave before he becomes any more emotionally compromised, but he has no desire to leave Jim’s company unless he is explicitly asked to.

Jim’s face has crumpled with his words, and Spock has a few seconds to curse himself before Jim  raises his eyes to meet Spock’s. The captain’s eyes are glossy with unshed tears, but Spock doesn’t have time to worry before he recognises the unrestrained tenderness underneath.

“Then,” Jim’s knee nudges hesitantly against Spock’s. “Would you be amenable to continuing our intimate relationship?”

Spock is aware that he is being mocked, but he finds he does not care. This conversation has not panned out as he had hypothesised. “I--” He  _ wants _ to agree wholeheartedly and immediately but… “Jim, I must inform you that I will not be able to meet your expected requirements of a human relationship.”

Jim is shaking his head, and now is hand is resting over Spock’s kneecap. “This isn’t a human relationship, Spock. You’re only half-human.”  _ Exactly _ , Spock wants to say, but Jim anticipates him. “And I  _ love _ you for it. We’ve covered this: I don’t  _ care _ that you aren’t human, I could literally not care less about whether you are capable of performing ‘traditional’ aspects of human relationships.”

He stops and shakes the socks in his other hand. “In fact, I’m  _ glad _ you don’t do human relationships. I hate public displays of affection, and I respect that you weren’t raised that way, either.  _ That’s _ why I pulled away from you all those times on the bridge. I don’t need it, and I could tell you were uncomfortable.” Jim smiles at him - the brilliant James Kirk smile. Spock firmly believes that, given time and adequate exposure, that smile could break even the steeliest Vulcan’s controls. “But you need to stop thinking of us as acquaintances, okay?”

Spock’s heart feels as if it could float clean out of his body. He is sure this will become detrimental, but he cannot bring himself to mind, not when Jim is smiling at him like that and his hand is gripping his knee. “Perhaps ‘partners’ would be an acceptable substitute, Jim?”

If he had not seen it with his own eyes, Spock would not have known it possible for Jim’s smile to widen any farther. “Partners is kind of perfect actually,  _ ashayam _ .”

Spock’s heart stops. He freezes. The smile gradually slips of Jim’s face.  _ No _ .  _ No, James Kirk should never stop smiling _ .

“Did I… did I just say something awful? I asked Uhura, and she told me it meant--”

Spock breaks out of his daze and presses his mouth to Jim’s. He feels the smile return. He hypothesises that feeling his Jim’s smile is even better than seeing it. He will have to test this theory extensively. “You were correct.  _ Taluhk nash-veh k'dular _ .”

Jim pulls away from where he had been pressing soft, chaste kisses to the warm skin of Spock’s neck. “What does that mean?”

Spock’s eyes soften and he nuzzles his face into Jim’s cheek. “I cherish thee.” Jim shivers against him and Spock, for the first time in recent memory, feels content.


End file.
